Friends

I seem to not be able to keep my friends these days. I have a lot of not so great qualities such as being unreliable, difficult to hang out with, clueless of what the other person is feeling or thinking, and other things.

Today, my heartache is with my friend Ann. She's angry with how difficult it is to hang out with me. We hang out everyday except a couple days out of those days (she says every other day), and I thought things, as rough as they were, were still good. Today I have to help my dad fix a stupid toilet, a light fixture in our living room that has died, and possibly go buy a shirt I've been wanting pretty badly. Shirt aside, she's angry with how she makes sacrifices and ditching her other friends and family to go hang out with me.

Anime Expo is coming up, and I'm pretty sure my friend Skye won't be able to come for it. And at the rate things are going to go with Ann, I'll probably be alone for AX. I thought after her friend got back, that's when she'd stop depending on hanging out with someone as difficult and complicated as me, and with him instead. Well, I'm wrong. As usual.

I don't know exactly how I feel right now about it, other than sad. I'm sad that I can't meet her low to non-existent expectations of me, and as much as I'd love to hang out with her every god-damn day, I can't.

I hope things work out between me and her. I really don't want to lose her. Again.

In the meantime, I want to share a song I really love. Oddly enough, I found it right before things became really bad between me and Ann. Enjoy.